Bimquatboggun Wotdutbad is a god.

It takes the form of a galaxy-sized, uncaring snail.

Bimquatboggun Wotdutbad created energy four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bimquatboggun Wotdutbad, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Bimquatboggun Wotdutbad, it will turn you into a mouse.

Bimquatboggun Wotdutbad's most sacred site is Temmes in Finland.

Bimquatboggun Wotdutbad's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat parsnips.

2. Erect five copper sculptures of Bimquatboggun Wotdutbad on top of important buildings.

3. Hide if six tapirs approach from the north.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Bimquatboggun Wotdutbad.

5. Never sing near otters.