Weegoftik is a god.

She takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, competent manatee.

Weegoftik created viruses three million years ago.

If you believe in Weegoftik, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Weegoftik, she will turn you into a blue tit.

Weegoftik's most sacred site is Cobbelsdorf in Germany.

Weegoftik's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Weegoftik.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Never think about the weak nuclear force.

5. Erect a large iron sculpture of Weegoftik on top of all buildings.