Cetkopgupqueeg is a god.

It takes the form of a six hundred metre long, blissful mouse.

Cetkopgupqueeg created a down quark four billion years ago.

If you believe in Cetkopgupqueeg, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Cetkopgupqueeg, it will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Cetkopgupqueeg's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Cetkopgupqueeg's Holy Commandments

1. Always help aardvarks in need.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of nickel.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.

5. Never sing in the presence of bats.