Geprullcad is a god.

She takes the form of a four thousand metre long, vain faun.

Geprullcad created a quark eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Geprullcad, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Geprullcad, she will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Geprullcad's most sacred site is Troqueer in Scotland.

Geprullcad's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Never mention foxes.

3. Never think ill of sick nematodes.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Put Geprullcad first in all things.