Raklopnurt is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, pitiless jackal.

Raklopnurt created an electron five billion years ago.

If you believe in Raklopnurt, it will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Raklopnurt, it will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Raklopnurt's most sacred site is Insel in Germany.

Raklopnurt's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Retreat if nine squirrels approach from the north.

3. Always make sure there are no dogs in a room before entering it.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.