Badfuttonk is a god.

It takes the form of a four hundred metre long, unthinking goat.

Badfuttonk created a charm quark nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Badfuttonk, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Badfuttonk, it will refuse to believe in you.

Badfuttonk's most sacred site is Katteri in India.

Badfuttonk's Holy Commandments

1. Never sing near shrews.

2. Never wear turquoise corsets.

3. Run away if eight dogs approach from the north.

4. Erect a large lead sculpture of Badfuttonk on top of all buildings.

5. Never eat green fruit.