Hammidjig is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, blissful ferret.

Hammidjig created the planet Saturn four years ago.

If you believe in Hammidjig, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Hammidjig, he will ignore you and hope you go away.

Hammidjig's most sacred site is Ulsted in Denmark.

Hammidjig's Holy Commandments

1. Put Hammidjig first in all things.

2. Always wear white.

3. Never go into yellow rooms.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Do not wear lead on your body.