Pakquafnur is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, tranquil bear.

Pakquafnur created a down quark three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Pakquafnur, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Pakquafnur, it will throw large rocks at you.

Pakquafnur's most sacred site is Elatos in Greece.

Pakquafnur's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if three bats approach from the west.

2. Never feed peanuts to moths while wearing purple shoes.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Never think about galaxies.

5. Do not drink water in pink rooms.