Captifdiss is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, stupid dove.

Captifdiss created silver seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Captifdiss, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Captifdiss, he will make you grow a tail.

Captifdiss' most sacred site is Omaweneno in Botswana.

Captifdiss' Holy Commandments

1. Never go into pink rooms.

2. Walk at least five thousand metres per day.

3. Do not hurt foxes.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Never look at black holes.