Kemfabtadingnurtyogjen is a god.

She takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, confident salamander.

Kemfabtadingnurtyogjen created light four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Kemfabtadingnurtyogjen, she will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Kemfabtadingnurtyogjen, she will turn you into a goat.

Kemfabtadingnurtyogjen's most sacred site is Saint Cado in France.

Kemfabtadingnurtyogjen's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention turtles.

2. Put Kemfabtadingnurtyogjen first in all things.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Do not wear zinc on your body.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.