Dapnurhen is a god.

It takes the form of a three hundred metre long, generous penguin.

Dapnurhen created matter two years ago.

If you believe in Dapnurhen, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Dapnurhen, it will turn you into a hamster.

Dapnurhen's most sacred site is Estedt in Germany.

Dapnurhen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear titanium on your body.

2. Never feed bananas to squirrels while wearing green shorts.

3. Walk at least nine thousand metres per day.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.