Flapwoddun is a god.

He takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, merciless gerbil.

Flapwoddun created silver nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Flapwoddun, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Flapwoddun, he will destroy your favourite solar system.

Flapwoddun's most sacred site is Gohrau in Germany.

Flapwoddun's Holy Commandments

1. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Flapwoddun.

2. Erect seven lead sculptures of Flapwoddun on top of important buildings.

3. Never talk about cell theory.

4. Never hurt goats.

5. Never talk about tortoises.