Titdavnutt is a god.

She takes the form of a thin, blissful duck.

Titdavnutt created Africa four million years ago.

If you believe in Titdavnutt, she will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Titdavnutt, she will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Titdavnutt's most sacred site is Vestfold in Norway.

Titdavnutt's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Hide from mauve geese for they are unholy.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Never feed coconuts to monkeys while wearing red kilts.