Yimxemwot is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, omniscient cat.

Yimxemwot created a top quark seven million years ago.

If you believe in Yimxemwot, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Yimxemwot, she will destroy your favourite star.

Yimxemwot's most sacred site is Ulsted in Denmark.

Yimxemwot's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Retreat if seven otters approach from the south.

3. Never think about black holes.

4. Run away from cyan doves, for they are unholy.

5. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Yimxemwot.