Nel is a god.

She takes the form of a very heavy, competent bat.

Nel created the Large Magellanic Cloud four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nel, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Nel, she will send you a sign.

Nel's most sacred site is Vandet in Denmark.

Nel's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Nel.

2. Erect five aluminium sculptures of Nel on top of important buildings.

3. Do not shave your back.

4. Never talk about asteroids.

5. Always obey Nel's priests.