Quimzenfat is a god.

It takes the form of a gargantuan, deceitful fox.

Quimzenfat created the planet Saturn five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Quimzenfat, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Quimzenfat, it will turn you into a duck.

Quimzenfat's most sacred site is Nakke in Denmark.

Quimzenfat's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Quimzenfat.

2. Always help sharks in need.

3. Never think about moons.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.