Jab is a god.

She takes the form of a very heavy, clever wasp.

Jab created a charm quark seven million years ago.

If you believe in Jab, she will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Jab, she will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Jab's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Jab's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Do not drink water in magenta rooms.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Always stare at clouds.