Fetbepbass is a god.

She takes the form of a four hundred metre long, idiotic porpoise.

Fetbepbass created the planet Earth five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fetbepbass, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Fetbepbass, she will send you a strongly worded letter.

Fetbepbass' most sacred site is Aimala in Finland.

Fetbepbass' Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Do not eat garlic.

3. Worship no other gods but Fetbepbass.

4. Run away from brown ducks, for they are unholy.

5. Never look at black holes.