Bapmipfud is a god.

It takes the form of a galaxy-sized, wise crocodile.

Bapmipfud created a charm quark four million years ago.

If you believe in Bapmipfud, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Bapmipfud, it will turn you into a plant.

Bapmipfud's most sacred site is Dommerby in Denmark.

Bapmipfud's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Do not dye your hair yellow.

5. Never think ill of sick aardvarks.