Wotwikhan is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, omnipotent parrot.

Wotwikhan created the Milkyway eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Wotwikhan, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Wotwikhan, she will send two she bears to sort you out.

Wotwikhan's most sacred site is Fangchuan in China.

Wotwikhan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in fawn rooms.

2. Do not kill sharks.

3. Never write about moons.

4. Never think about the strong nuclear force.

5. Always take life seriously.