Volpigbast is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, unthinking whale.

Volpigbast created the planet Saturn seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Volpigbast, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Volpigbast, she will attempt to scare you with floods.

Volpigbast's most sacred site is Acanceh in Mexico.

Volpigbast's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry grasshopers.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Never think about planets.

4. Do not run in public.

5. Never think about cell theory.