Tonyoggut is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, omniscient gorilla.

Tonyoggut created a bottom quark three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tonyoggut, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Tonyoggut, he will destroy your home planet.

Tonyoggut's most sacred site is Mmankgodi in Botswana.

Tonyoggut's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of iron.

2. Never think ill of sick aardvarks.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.