Zenlargget Fliszogkabyimlincumbotpig is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, sage mink.

Zenlargget Fliszogkabyimlincumbotpig created humanity three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Zenlargget Fliszogkabyimlincumbotpig, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Zenlargget Fliszogkabyimlincumbotpig, he will send minions to preach to you.

Zenlargget Fliszogkabyimlincumbotpig's most sacred site is Rutalahti in Finland.

Zenlargget Fliszogkabyimlincumbotpig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Zenlargget Fliszogkabyimlincumbotpig.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Zenlargget Fliszogkabyimlincumbotpig.

4. Never paint your face pink.

5. Never sit in holy places.