Ratdogmip Vonkpadsan is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, idiotic otter.

Ratdogmip Vonkpadsan created dark energy seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Ratdogmip Vonkpadsan, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Ratdogmip Vonkpadsan, it will send you a sign.

Ratdogmip Vonkpadsan's most sacred site is Askos in Greece.

Ratdogmip Vonkpadsan's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Never look at nebulae.

3. Put Ratdogmip Vonkpadsan first in all things.

4. Ratdogmip Vonkpadsan loves grasshopers, so they must be honoured.

5. Always help gulls in need.