Gessvogrotsat is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, awe-inspiring whale.

Gessvogrotsat created life two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gessvogrotsat, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Gessvogrotsat, he will strike you with lightening.

Gessvogrotsat's most sacred site is Oppin in Germany.

Gessvogrotsat's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry swans.

2. Always look after injured ducks.

3. Always wear orange.

4. Never talk about cell theory.

5. Pray towards the south.