Bensatnill is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, humorless duck.

Bensatnill created a bottom quark three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bensatnill, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Bensatnill, he will turn you into a tree.

Bensatnill's most sacred site is Hongcun in China.

Bensatnill's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat manatees with great respect.

2. Never write about gravity.

3. Never paint your arms cyan.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Respect your elders.