Cabwapsad is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, almighty giraffe.

Cabwapsad created the planet Jupiter two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cabwapsad, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Cabwapsad, she will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Cabwapsad's most sacred site is Denshawai in Egypt.

Cabwapsad's Holy Commandments

1. Always help snakes.

2. Always obey Cabwapsad's priests.

3. Do not wear zinc on your body.

4. You must pray to Cabwapsad six times a day.

5. Never eat green fruit.