Vigvonkfet is a god.

He takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, annoying lizard.

Vigvonkfet created vertebrates five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Vigvonkfet, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Vigvonkfet, he will be very unhappy.

Vigvonkfet's most sacred site is Daren in Wales.

Vigvonkfet's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Always make sure there are no whales in a room before entering it.

3. Do not kill rats.

4. Birds are not to be trusted.

5. Do not drink water in brown rooms.