Armmiphim is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, smart fairy.

Armmiphim created a top quark nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Armmiphim, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Armmiphim, he will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Armmiphim's most sacred site is Khwee in Botswana.

Armmiphim's Holy Commandments

1. Armmiphim loves monkeys, so they must be honoured.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Never write about cell theory.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Always make sure there are no cats in a building before entering it.