Sandponzedmeg is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, loving tortoise.

Sandponzedmeg created a quark five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Sandponzedmeg, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Sandponzedmeg, it will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Sandponzedmeg's most sacred site is Gulval in England.

Sandponzedmeg's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair turquoise.

2. Never think about gravity.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of carbon.

4. Do not wear gray clothing.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.