Abwapgom is a god.

It takes the form of a very long, narcissistic swan.

Abwapgom created the universe four billion years ago.

If you believe in Abwapgom, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Abwapgom, it will ignore you and hope you go away.

Abwapgom's most sacred site is Gorslas in Wales.

Abwapgom's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about gravity.

2. Do not covet oxen.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. You must love Abwapgom.

5. Always look after injured swans.