Bopsawtin is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, conceited lobster.

Bopsawtin created a top quark three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bopsawtin, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Bopsawtin, she will jump up and down on your head.

Bopsawtin's most sacred site is Neravy in India.

Bopsawtin's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat lentils.

2. Never think about horizontal gene transfer.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Never hurt shrews.

5. Never jump near tapirs.