Zakgessrip Veentabtal is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, proud elephant.

Zakgessrip Veentabtal created the Sombrero Galaxy eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Zakgessrip Veentabtal, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Zakgessrip Veentabtal, she will turn you into a tree.

Zakgessrip Veentabtal's most sacred site is Chilhac in France.

Zakgessrip Veentabtal's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat pineapples.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate grasshopers.

3. Run away if eight great tits approach from the west.

4. Never write about cell theory.

5. Always obey Zakgessrip Veentabtal's priests.