Jamrattarg is a god.

It takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, able squid.

Jamrattarg created the universe four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Jamrattarg, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Jamrattarg, it will say rude things about you at parties.

Jamrattarg's most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Jamrattarg's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed peanuts to seals while wearing fawn stockings.

2. Never think about evolution by means of natural selection.

3. Never eat melons.

4. Never go into purple rooms.

5. Never talk about capybaras.