Fumdussjarn is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, dishonest dove.

Fumdussjarn created Europe eight million years ago.

If you believe in Fumdussjarn, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Fumdussjarn, he will destroy your home solar system.

Fumdussjarn's most sacred site is Nanjie in China.

Fumdussjarn's Holy Commandments

1. Fumdussjarn loves sharks, so they must be honoured.

2. Never bounce near cats.

3. Never go into purple rooms.

4. Do not wear red clothing.

5. Do not speak about cucumbers.