Bestmutjadflat is a god.

She takes the form of a minute, slow deer.

Bestmutjadflat created humankind five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bestmutjadflat, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Bestmutjadflat, she will turn you into a sheep.

Bestmutjadflat's most sacred site is Wukan in China.

Bestmutjadflat's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.

3. Never write about the weak nuclear force.

4. Always make sure there are no capybaras in a building before entering it.

5. Do not shave your hands.