Gemcembot Pasjamgup is a god.

It takes the form of a very long, cheerful squirrel.

Gemcembot Pasjamgup created the planet Mars five billion years ago.

If you believe in Gemcembot Pasjamgup, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Gemcembot Pasjamgup, it will turn you into a rock.

Gemcembot Pasjamgup's most sacred site is Valdena in Italy.

Gemcembot Pasjamgup's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Gemcembot Pasjamgup.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Never eat bark.