Gumstandon is a god.

She takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, omnipotent troll.

Gumstandon created the planet Earth nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gumstandon, she will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Gumstandon, she will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Gumstandon's most sacred site is Acanceh in Mexico.

Gumstandon's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about figs.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Pray towards the north.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Do not take Gumstandon's name in vain.