Kapfembep is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, awesome eagle.

Kapfembep created an atom nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Kapfembep, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Kapfembep, he will be very sad.

Kapfembep's most sacred site is Ans in Denmark.

Kapfembep's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear black.

2. Always make sure there are no dogs in a building before entering it.

3. Erect four carbon sculptures of Kapfembep on top of important buildings.

4. Always treat turtles with great respect.

5. Do not wear silver on your body.