Hamvannel Fonjinhad is a god.

It takes the form of a three hundred metre long, proud wren.

Hamvannel Fonjinhad created a Higgs boson four billion years ago.

If you believe in Hamvannel Fonjinhad, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Hamvannel Fonjinhad, it will be very unhappy.

Hamvannel Fonjinhad's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Hamvannel Fonjinhad's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Retreat if nine dolphins approach from the east.

3. Always obey Hamvannel Fonjinhad's priests.

4. Never run in the presence of capybaras.

5. Never talk about amino acids.