Hambonkfut is a god.

It takes the form of a two thousand metre long, bad-tempered dryad.

Hambonkfut created an electron nine million years ago.

If you believe in Hambonkfut, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Hambonkfut, it will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Hambonkfut's most sacred site is Corsock in Scotland.

Hambonkfut's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear green hats.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Always wear turquoise.

4. Never look at planets.

5. Do not cook food in pots.