Tafsatcisspang Lenyogsand is a god.

She takes the form of a thin, calm giraffe.

Tafsatcisspang Lenyogsand created the planet Venus eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tafsatcisspang Lenyogsand, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Tafsatcisspang Lenyogsand, she will send two she bears to sort you out.

Tafsatcisspang Lenyogsand's most sacred site is Farnetta in Italy.

Tafsatcisspang Lenyogsand's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about amino acids.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Run away if eight bats approach from the south.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Tafsatcisspang Lenyogsand.

5. Do not speak about figs.