Hinfotcid is a god.

She takes the form of a large, tiresome beaver.

Hinfotcid created an up quark five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hinfotcid, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Hinfotcid, she will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Hinfotcid's most sacred site is Ringsted in Denmark.

Hinfotcid's Holy Commandments

1. Never sit in holy places.

2. Do not drink water in cyan rooms.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Hinfotcid.

4. Do not eat onions.

5. Never talk about cell theory.