Lapdimbess is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, irritating squirrel.

Lapdimbess created the Small Magellanic Cloud four billion years ago.

If you believe in Lapdimbess, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Lapdimbess, she will send you a sign.

Lapdimbess' most sacred site is Acanceh in Mexico.

Lapdimbess' Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Do not speak about figs.

3. Always make sure there are no porpoises in a room before entering it.

4. Do not sing in public.

5. Erect six tin sculptures of Lapdimbess on top of important buildings.