Wipstipyarp is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, cheerful cow.

Wipstipyarp created energy three million years ago.

If you believe in Wipstipyarp, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Wipstipyarp, he will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Wipstipyarp's most sacred site is Panormos in Greece.

Wipstipyarp's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Pray towards the north.

3. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Put Wipstipyarp first in all things.