Midbegtip is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, generous porpoise.

Midbegtip created the solar system eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Midbegtip, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Midbegtip, she will turn you into a frog.

Midbegtip's most sacred site is Dzhanka in Bulgaria.

Midbegtip's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear brown jumpers.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate grasshopers.

3. Erect five carbon sculptures of Midbegtip on top of important buildings.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Feed all hungry tapirs.