Sigarmvan is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, all-knowing ferret.

Sigarmvan created the Andromeda Galaxy four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Sigarmvan, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Sigarmvan, she will turn you into a blue tit.

Sigarmvan's most sacred site is Cudillero in Spain.

Sigarmvan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Do not shave your feet.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Never talk about evolution by means of natural selection.