Gutbosslap is a god.

He takes the form of an one thousand metre long, unthinking mole.

Gutbosslap created the planet Mars five billion years ago.

If you believe in Gutbosslap, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Gutbosslap, he will destroy your favourite star.

Gutbosslap's most sacred site is Grimme in Germany.

Gutbosslap's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of aluminium.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Never write about the strong nuclear force.

5. Never write about cell theory.