Mincemtit is a god.

It takes the form of a very heavy, sapient otter.

Mincemtit created snails eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Mincemtit, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Mincemtit, it will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Mincemtit's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Mincemtit's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large titanium sculpture of Mincemtit on top of all buildings.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Run away if four shrews approach from the south.