Litappcutsawveengilsag is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, cheerful penguin.

Litappcutsawveengilsag created matter eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Litappcutsawveengilsag, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Litappcutsawveengilsag, it will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Litappcutsawveengilsag's most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Litappcutsawveengilsag's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Never mention pigs.

3. Never write about black holes.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Put Litappcutsawveengilsag first in all things.